FETCH ME FREEDOM

When Nala and Koda were puppies, we enrolled in canine obedience together so they could learn their basic manners: sit, stay, come, wait, lay down, etc., but it also taught me how to establish myself as the leader of the pack. It also taught me patience, the importance of consistency and practice, how to build a bond with my dogs and to set boundaries. Moreover, it taught me about positive reinforcement and reward for desired achieved behaviors and a job well done. Whenever one of the dogs completed a class successfully, we were instructed to use the phrase free dog to release them from command and allow them to end the class playing, having some fun, and celebrate by being free dogs.

These days, the dogs and I practice and reinforce our basic manners regularly so when we enter out into the world, onto the trails, on walks or at the beach, we can apply them to every day interactions and experiences. I no longer use free dog in my day to day conversations with my dogs; they know even when the leash comes off and they are free to run in the fields or swim in the open sea, they still need to mind my commands and there will be a reward for good behavior when playing. They also know that being unleashed and free does not give them a free pass to treat the world like it is there own personal background to do whatever they please. There are boundaries still because that is what benefits the whole.

Koda is very well trained off leash and Ru is learning. But out and about on our adventures I stay keenly aware of our surroundings. Not every person wants a dog they don’t know running up to them off leash, regardless of how friendly he is. And not every dog is interested in making friends with another dog, regardless if he is friendly or not. That is why I always practice recall and keep my dogs close by, step off the trail to let others pass, or leash my dogs in environments where they need to be under my control 100%.

In our pack, being free doesn’t mean allowing yourself to behave however you want despite those around you, but it does mean the freedom to be yourself. Ru is nervous and shy around strangers, but wants to make friends with every dog she meets on our walks. And, Koda wants to say hello to every human stranger he meets, but would prefer to pass quietly by other dogs he doesn’t know. I hope one day Ru will learn to me more confident and comfortable around strangers, but I don’t expect her to become an overtly friendly dog to strangers just because they want to pet her. And as much as it would make my life easier for Koda to love making friends with other dogs, I respect that fact that he is a canine introvert, preferring to make friends on his own terms. Since my dogs can’t vocalize their own personal boundaries, I am their advocate. So, we step off the trail to increase space between us and strange dogs and humans. When people ask if they can greet my dogs, I usually either politely decline or allow Koda to meet the humans and Ru to meet the dogs, respecting the other’s preferences. Most people are kind and understanding, but a surprising number are not. Often they think I am rude, assume my dogs are aggressive so “how dare I take them to shared public spaces” or they take it personally. It is like somehow our boundaries, preferences, and freedom to choose our experience somehow is a direct violation of theirs; that the freedom they believe they are entitled to should come at the sacrifice or expense of ours.

While I don’t actively use the phrase free dog in daily practice with my dogs anymore, the phrase has had me reflecting a lot on our individual and collective ideologies on freedom this Independence Day, especially as so many of our American freedoms are a stake for so many. We all deserve basic human rights and civil liberties: to love whom we want, to live the values we believe in, to have our basic needs met, and to make our own choices. However, freedom is not an entitlement. My desired freedoms are no more or less worthy than yours. True freedom can only be achieved when it doesn’t hurt or come at the expense of others. Freedom is not about controlling the freedom of others, but respecting the right for us all enjoy and live life freely. Your right to own a gun, does not rescind the right for our children to feel safe when they attend school. Your right to practice the doctrines of your religion, does not give you the right to control my body. Your right to express yourself does not give you the right to spew hatred and fear who do not look like you or live their lives like you.

And, your right to live your privilege freely, does not give you the right to continue the oppression of those seeking equality. Your right to be free doesn’t entitle you to cancel mine.

The lack of empathy, understanding and respect that exists in the world right now is disturbing and devastating. We are so consumed and obsessed with controlling our collective freedoms out of fear that we may lose our individual ones to someone else, that it has us blinded us from seeing the bigger picture and broader perspective. It has never been about scarcity. It has never been about about taking something from one side so the other side can have more. There is enough freedom for all. But it is about respect and compromise. Giving a little for the good of all. I am not asking for you to give up your guns; I am asking for our children to be safe. I am not asking you to support abortion; I am asking you to respect my right (my body) to choose. I am not asking you change what you believe in (or don’t); I am asking you to allow me believe what I do.

My dogs have shown me that life unleashed is no less extraordinary when asked to romp along trails and swim in the tides when they have to live as a free dog within boundaries that respect the other human and canine friends we interact with along the way. They know the reward, beyond the jerky treats and play time in the surf and in the forest, lies within the mutual respect they receive so they, too, can experience life freely, without fear, without confrontation, but confidently and carefree. Every day they show me what it means to be a true free dog; and can teach each one of us how to Fetch Me Freedom.

Love Stacey, Koda and Ru